Jesus' Twitter Updates, Holy Week, 30 A.D.
[TRIVIA NOTE: The 140-character limit was imposed later, c. 57 A.D., in response to the uproar caused by St. Paul's ridiculously long tweets.]
lord&savior Just freaked Mary out. That was WAY COOL!! Which way to Emmaus from here? 3 minutes ago from twitteriffic.
lord&savior I'm baa-aaaaack!!! Sorry for the lack of updates...I was, well, out of commission for a while. Wow, everything's different now. Everything's...new. 14 minutes ago from twitteriffic.
lord&savior It is finished. 3:04 PM, April 15, 30 from twitteriffic.
lord&savior I said Eloi, not Elijah! I give up. These guys'll never get it. 2:56 PM, April 15, 30 from twitteriffic.
lord&savior I kinda like this guy on the right. 1:23 PM, April 15, 30 from twitteriffic.
lord&savior AAAAAARRRGGHHHH!!! AAAAAAARRRGGGGHHH!! FATHER, FORG...AAAAAARRRGHHH!!!...FATHER, FORGIVE...AAAAAARRRGGGHHH...FORGIVE THEM!!!!....AAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!! 9:11 am, April 15, 30 from twitteriffic.
lord&savior Maybe now they'll figure out I was wasn't kidding when I said they had to carry a cross. 8:22 AM, April 15, 30 from twitteriffic.
lord&savior Dude, did they just say "no king but Caesar." Wasn't it supposed to be "no king but Yahweh?" Sad, man, just sad. 7:47 AM, April 15, 30 from twitteriffic.
lord&savior Pilate just tried to get all philosophical on me. He don't know who he's tangling with. I am the truth. 7:27 AM, April 15, 30 from twitteriffic.
lord&savior Just finished up with Herod and the gang. Like there was any doubt how that verdict was gonna go. Talk about a kangaroo court. 7:02 AM, April 15, 30 from twitteriffic.
lord&savior Just heard the cock crowing outside. Ha! Peter's gonna trip! 5:43 AM, April 15, 30 from twitteriffic.
lord&savior Just told Caiaphas I was the Messiah. Didn't go over too well. Well, it's either true or it's blasphemous. Guess which one Cai picked. 4:12 AM, April 15, 30 from twitteriffic.
lord&savior Ever been stabbed in the back by a good friend? I mean really betrayed, you know? I knew this was coming, but it still hurts like something aweful. Then Peter goes and cuts that dude's ear off. Having a tough night. I got a feeling it's gonna get worse before it gets better. 1:38 AM, April 15, 30 from twitteriffic.
lord&savior I'm shaking in my boots here...spiritual battles like you've never seen...and my boys keep falling asleep. Man, when are they gonna start to get it? 11:43 PM, April 14, 30 from twitteriffic.
lord&savior Getting ready for dinner with the boys. I wonder how I'm gonna tell 'em? It's gotta be something symbolic, something trippy, something that'll leave 'em guessing for now but'll come rushing back to make sense when all is said and done. I don't know. It'll probably come to me when we're digging in to the bread and the wine. Bread and wine...Bread and wine...Wait a minute...! 5:43 PM, April 14, 30 from twitteriffic.
lord&savior Just went off on the head honchos. Called them a bunch of hypocrites and snakes. If the temple thing didn't do it, that one sure did. 2:10 PM, April 13, 30 from twitteriffic.
lord&savior Judas is up to something. I can just feel it. Something always bugged me about that guy. Love him, though. 11:39 AM, April 12, 30 from twitteriffic.
lord&savior It's all about love, people! Everything else, all the Law and the Prophets...just footnotes! 10:51 AM, April 12, 30 from twitteriffic.
lord&savior Kind of lost it this morning at the temple. Head honchos not too pleased. I gotta think of a way to bookend this thing so they don't think I'm just some revolutionary wacko. Maybe at the Passover meal later this week. Gotta think about it. 11:41 AM, April 11, 30 from twitteriffic.
lord&savior Finally made it to the big city. Big week ahead. They gave me a nice welcome, palm branches and all. I don't think they get it. Oh, Abba, if they only knew the things that made for peace... 7:53 AM, April 11, 30 from twitteriffic.
Heh - nice. Some good stuff in here. Gotta remember that 140 character limit, a few went past that. 'Course, that could be just another miricle, right? ;-)
This is funny, when are you going to make something else like this?
Glad you like it. Actually, I'm working on a "Jesus' 25 Things Meme" as we speak. Watch out for it.
Raffi