God’s sovereignty. Obedience. Thy will, not my will.

Big concepts.

Big problems.

I remember having a conversation with the father of a friend from church. Dad wasn’t too keen on this whole church thing. He was old school, from the old country. “I don’t want my son to be controlled,” he said.

Big concept, this whole “control” thing. Modern man doesn’t like to be controlled. Master of my fate. King of the castle. No one’s gonna tell me what to do.

You see the hindrance here? That whole “folly to Greeks” thing.

“We’re all controlled by someone or something,” I told the man. “For me, I choose to be controlled by the creator of the universe. If I’m gonna be controlled, he’s not a bad choice.”

“Ah, ha!” He retorted. “So you admit to being controlled.”

I don’t think he got my point. Probably my fault.

I should have told this story:

Some months ago, God told me to do something. Please don’t read that as meaning there was a booming voice in the sky saying, “Raffi, goeth and doeth such and such!” It’s a bit more subtle than that, but spelling it out would require several hundred pages. This is not the time or place. God told me to do something. You’re gonna have to trust me on this one.

I didn’t want to do it. It would change everything. Shake things up real good. But I also heard the promise of glory at the end of the road, that if I did this thing, life would be much, much better, more abundant, if you will, and not just for me.

I was obedient….somewhat.

I started on the path of doing what the Sovereign had commanded. But I tweaked it a bit, added a little bit of sweetener to the bitter pill. I compromised the painful thing God was asking me for. I did it, but not to the extent that I know He wanted.

In other words, I disobeyed. Just a bit. But that made all the difference. If I keep telling this story, and it gets passed on for generations, there might come a time when a snake and an apple might find its way into the narrative, just to make it more visual. But that wouldn’t change the truth of the matter.

God said X, I did X minus 1.

Things are not that great in that domain now. It doesn’t look like it’s headed for glory. And it’s too late to go back and redo the thing completely. It would fall completely out of context now. God knew the perfect timing. He told me. I failed.

Things won’t be as great as they could have been, as God wanted them to be. Not because He’s an arbitrary, ruthless, power-hungry sovereign. But because He loves me.

More than I can ever love myself.

All hail the King! Let every knee bow!!

And may God forgive me.

Grace and Peace,
Raffi